As I said in the introduction, it is important that you read “What Is A Christian?” and see if your heart is open to receiving Jesus Christ as your Saviour and the Lord of your life, because without that total committment to Him, you are limiting His work in your life.
It is not a little matter to leave all of self, its desires, pride and ways, but, if we do, we shall find all that Our Lord has to give us…..and THAT is definitely no small matter!!!!
Some of the worst pains in a verbally abusive situation is the plumetting self esteem that inevitably happens. What would happen if we approached that from an entirely different direction?
Our very natures are aimed to a high self esteem, and our fallen nature (because of the sin of our first parents, which made us born imperfect) causes us to fall prey to the sin of pride, which further makes self esteem a primary issue in our lives. Add to that the world we live in….no product is sold with such vehemous velocity as ourselves…..our society is selling us on ourselves….we must have a beautiful face and a perfect body, or we are not of much value. We are told we must have the best cars, clothing, makeup, and bodies and faces with no wrinkles or spots. We are told that we “deserve” and we “entitled” to lawsuits from the mistakes of fellow human beings. We are told we should have what we want when we want it, and it better be perfect, or we have been cheated. All these are lies of the devil.
God doesn’t see us with the eyes of the world…He isn’t of this world. This world was taken by satan at the fall of our first parents, and since that time, he has corrupted everything that is in the Mind of God. Satan has a counterfeit for everything God has given us and everything God has said. The beautiful gifts He has given us, all have a counterpart that comes from the evil one. I would like to itemize them, but that may be later….God willing.
One of the counterfeits is self esteem. The devil’s version is all around us…we don’t like ourselves because we aren’t perfect…like the women on the billboards, magazines, TV and movies….we see ourselves in our minds as the only one who isn’t. With the help of lying demons, and the world, we swing from pride to hatred of ourselves, and that affects those around us. We become confused as to which voice is affecting us…our fallen nature, our childhood experiences, a lying demon, the fallen world.
Add to that a partner (I’ll say husband for simplicity….noting that it could be another relationship, or it could be an abused man also) who, for reasons we can address later, insults you and calls you names … further corroding your self esteem.
This can happen even when you’re aware of the dangers and think you are guarding against them. I was like that. I steeled myself against the names he called me, knowing I wasn’t those things, but the damage came in the “side door”…the constant poisoning soaks into our minds and emotions, until we are sure that we are less than human…..we are almost good enough, but not quite, no matter how much we try.
We then think that everyone we see when we go in public sees us that way….so we hide away (some of us)….If you are abused, you know the rest of the story.
But God has a different direction for us to go…..Why do we care what we are?
Since we’ve been redeemed already, why must we keep “redeeming” ourselves in other peoples’ eyes? “The most tranquil person is one who cares about neither the praise nor fault finding of others. You are not better if you are praised, nor are you worse if others find fault… You are what you are, and your Lord loves you because He created you.” (Oswald Chambers)
When we no longer see any earthly beauty in ourselves, this is true beauty to Jesus. God doesn’t see things as the world does….as any human does…..He sees our inner beauty. What we see in the mirror is NOT what Our Lord sees………He sees our hearts and spirits, and what makes us beautiful to Him is our devotion to Him.
Jesus says: “will you have Me to be your Beloved? Will you follow me into suffering and lonliness, and endure hardness for My sake, and ask for no reward but My smile of approval, and My word of praise?
Will you throw yourself with a passion of abandonment into My will? Will you give up to Me the absolute control of yourself and all that you are? Will you be content with pleasing Me and Me only? May I have My way with you in all things? Will you come into so close a union with Me as to make a separation from the world necessary? Will you accept Me for your Bridegroom, and leave all others to cleave only to Me?” (note…”leaving” does not mean physical leaving, but internally putting Him first)
This is beauty to Our Lord. He wants our undivided Love and attention. See God alone. Fix your eyes on Him and Never put them on yourself. To live in peace, you MUST lose sight of self. Rest in your infinite and unchangable God. Do not withhold from God the only thing He wants….the possession of all that you are.
This is the groundwork that needs to be laid before God can truly redeem you from your situation. Are you up to it? Can you make that decision? Get on your knees right now, and ask Him into your heart, if you haven’t, and give Him everything that you have, everything that you are, and desire ONLY HIS WILL in your life and that of your loved ones. That will build the foundation that Jesus talks about in Matthew chapter 7….upon the Rock of His will instead of the sand of our own selfish desires.
When God answers that prayer, and gets you to that point, then He will help you to see your abuser in a different light. Nothing changes until we understand what is happening in the spirit world around us. There is a great deal going on that we cannot see because we are stuck in time and space. Our attitudes and our words determine what happens in the battles that are going on around us all the time, and in turn, those battles determine changes in our physical world.
So, you see, it is very complicated, yet so very simple. We simply need to give our all to God, and give Him total permission to change us first, then others…..
As we do that, and let Him show us what the next step is, we will feel the awsome changes, while we “Rest In The Arms of Jesus”…..
Here is a poem I love, I do not know the author, but I believe it was written through the author by God, to you…..
Child of My love, lean hard,
And let Me feel the pressure of thy care:
I know thy burden, child. I shaped it:
Poised it in My Own hand: made no proportion
In its weight to thine unaided strength,
For even as I laid it on, I said,
‘I shall be near, and while she leans on Me,
This burden shall be Mine, not hers:
So shall I keep My child within the circling arms
Of My Own love.’ Here lay it down, nor fear
To impose it in a shoulder which upholds
The government of worlds. Yet closer come:
Thou art not near enough. I would embrace thy care;
So I might feel My child reposing on My breast.
Thou lovest me? I knew it. Doubt not then;
But, loving Me, lean hard.”
May God bless you and keep you………..